What if the first date didn’t sparkle?

When we go on a first date we all hope it will sparkle. We expect great banter, lots of laughter, plenty of good-natured flirting, a little sexual chemistry and perhaps even a tantalising kiss goodbye. Both partners leave with high expectations of more dates.

However, it doesn’t always go like that. The trick is not letting yourself become too despondent and be put off the dating process for life.

As a dating expert with many years of experience in talking to people about how they first got together, I have been given both versions of dates by the respective parties. Some reported that sparks flew immediately and that they knew they had found their soul partner. Some of course reported that their first dates weren’t anything special, but that they subsequently fell in love over a number of following dates.

How should you react to a lack-lustre date?

If you take the advice of a dating expert (namely me) you may need to give the hands of time room to work their magic. We don’t all fall in love at first sight. In fact few of us ever do. Lasting, meaningful relationships are built up over time, so be patient

Getting to know someone and appreciate them fully takes time. The more dates you have with the person, the more opportunity you will give towards getting to know the other person. It is very often the case that relationships that develop over time, are more solid and last longer.

Don’t flog a dead horse

At the end of the day there is no point in trying to flog a dead horse. That’s just cruel to the animal, and in this case the animal is you and/or your date partner. If you have given the relationship plenty of opportunity to develop, but still can’t find the right chemistry between you, the likelihood is that it is not going to work no matter how many dates you have.

Sometimes, the chemistry takes a long time to start bubbling. If it does, that’s the time to turn up the Bunsen burner.

If on the other hand the relationship remains flat, don’t despair - move on. As the old adage goes - there’s plenty more fish in the sea.

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