Dating someone new is like a fresh adventure. It gives both you and your partner the chance to get to know each other; to understand each other’s likes and dislikes, goals and ambitions, and of your course your emotional desires.
During this process you will be able to decide whether or not your potential partner is the one for you. It should be an exciting journey of discovery; one that with luck, will result in a long term or even permanent relationship. However, there could be occasions when he/she might overstep the mark.
What would you do for example if you caught him of her scrolling through your mobile? Is this something you can expect, or is that a step too far?
Setting the rules
Our mobile phones play a huge role in our daily lives, both from a professional and a social point of view. The advent and popularity of social media is such that most people now use it as a matter of course; especially things like Facebook, and in terms of dating, mobile phones can be a real boon.
When it comes to looking at each other’s mobiles, there is nothing wrong with it as long as you are both there with each other, and it’s something that you are both happy with. Having said that, the flip side of that is that there are times when this would not be acceptable. No one should look at someone else’s mobile phone in secret.
Whether or not it is done surreptitiously, with or without intention, is irrelevant. It is unacceptable behaviour. It shows a total lack of regard for your privacy, and if that’s the way he/she starts off without even really knowing you, it doesn’t bode well for the future.
Gaining each other’s trust
You may in time agree access to your mobile on the grounds that you both decide not to keep any secrets from one another; even though there may not be anything you want to keep hidden in the first place.
The most important thing in any relationship is trust. But don’t forget that trust is a two way street. The last thing you want to do is to get involved with a person who is possessive and jealous; so watch out. Surreptitious phone snooping is not a good sign.
Overstepping the mark
If you do discover your partner looking through mobile phone files without your consent, you need to put a stop to it right away. If you do want to give him/her permission, that is up to you. But if you don’t give permission and you catch him/her doing it on more than one occasion, you are being disrespected.
If he/she doesn’t accept what you say, it’s best to find out early. Walk away. If however, you are happy that he/she apologises and gives you a perfectly innocent explanation, then doesn’t do it again without asking first – that is fine.
Setting boundaries is not a bad thing and if you both accept each other’s boundaries, all well and good. It’s all part of developing a lasting relationship.