Seven top tips for building up your confidence following a break-up

No one is ever safe from the trials and tribulations of a romantic break-up when dating, or rather when dating comes to an end with a particular partner – especially when you thought you’d found your soul mate.

If and when this happens to you, you will be devastated. You’ll be left wondering where it all went wrong and you’ll be totally disillusioned, possible confused and maybe even a little angry. The thought of putting yourself in the firing line once again, isn’t a pleasant one.

If you allow yourself to dwell on the break-up too long however, you can get seriously depressed, so in order to prevent that from happening, you need to get back up on the horse. If you’re having trouble in motivating yourself, here are seven tips to get you back in the mood.

Tip #1 – Reinvent the way you look

Reinventing the way you look, and in the process, changing your wardrobe, is one of the quickest ways of getting the show back on the road. It’s a great way of boosting your confidence and self-esteem. What you are in effect doing, is you’re resetting the starting point. Your new look and feel will set the scene for the exciting new dating adventures you’re about to embark on.

Tip #2 – Tone up your mental and physical health

You’re going to have some time on your hands, so put it to good use by getting yourself back in shape – physically and mentally. You need to go on a quick detox to expel any unwanted toxins out of your body; eat and drink the right foods and beverages; develop a daily exercise routine and make sure that you get the right amount of sleep – at least 8 hours per night.

No binge drinking and no partying. Just concentrate on lifting your health and well-being, back to where they should be.

Tip #3 - A friend in need is a friend indeed

It will take a little while to get over your failed romance and this is a great time to fall back on friends. They say that a friend in need is a friend indeed, and that’s exactly what you want at this point in time – friends who can understand and who will support you and help you to move forward. Good friends can always be relied upon to remind you of just how good you really are.

Tip #4 – Figuring out what went wrong

Right after your break-up you will probably be blaming yourself for whatever it was that went wrong. It’s a natural reaction that we all experience, but it’s not necessarily correct. What you need to do first is to sit down and look back on things from a more objective viewpoint. Ask yourself these questions:

Why was this partner not right for you?

What should you be looking for in your next partner?

What will you do differently with your next partner?

Once you’ve answered these questions you’ll have a better idea about what really went wrong and it will put you in a better frame of mind for getting back on that horse again.

Tip #5 – Play to your strengths

It’s important to play to your strengths. In order to do this you must first establish what those strengths are. It’s not always easy however to discern by yourself what your real strengths are, but remember those "friends in need" that we just mentioned? It’s time to bring them into play. They will be able to tell you why they like being around you and if it helps, you can jot down the salient points and keep on referring back to them until you’ve got your self-esteem and self-confidence back where they should be.

Tip #6 – Change your social environment

What you don’t want to do is to bump into your ex, with or without their friends, while you are getting to grip with things. So, when you go out, frequent some different bars, clubs and eating-houses from the norm. By changing your social environment ,you will be able to sample some new experiences and it will help you to bring a new excitement into your life.

Tip #7 – Avoid your ex altogether

The more you see your ex, the more confused and hurt you could become. If you want to get over him/her, you need to avoid them completely. Clean their mobile number out of your phone, and block their Facebook account. If you saw your ex at the gym – find a new gym. If you used to bump into each other for coffee, make sure you find some new coffee bars.

The more complete the break, the easier and quicker it will be to prepare yourself to start dating again.

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