Dating Rules - Know Which Ones to Throw Out of the Window!
The guides to dating are everywhere, and they all have different rules for you to follow. Yet ask anyone who is truly in love, and they'll be the first to tell you that dating rules are meant to be broken from time to time. Most rule books will give you some basic dating rules in which, which if followed, they promise that you'll find the person of your dreams.
Will you find that perfect partner just by following some "basic" dating rules? Probably not. But hidden in many of these guides is some great advice that, if followed, can help you find the person that will offer some great emotional support in your life. Remember, there is no guarantee in this ever changing, always moving world. Life, in all of its perfection is quite unpredictable.
And life's unpredictability is what makes most rules rubbish. I know that many authors of those dating rule guides and books are probably going to have my head, but there are few men and women who have met and followed the rules to a tee that give the credit to those books. The best piece of advice in all of those rule books is to have a good handle on yourself before you try to date anyone else. It seems to be the underlying message in most dating rules.
How does your self-esteem play into a dating relationship? It has a great deal to do with it. When you are too needy, and put too much pressure on the other person to meet your emotional needs, it makes for a dysfunctional relationship. No dating rules are going to fix that problem. If you are looking to fill an emotional void by dating, then the rules will probably backfire. After all, a relationship is supposed to be about enhancing one another's lives, not being the life of your partner.
Once you have dealt with your emotional baggage, then looking at other rules may help. Basic dating rules like good hygiene, being yourself, and not seeming too needy are all great pieces of advice, but usually come from having a good feeling about yourself.
Other dating rules can get very detailed and probably too restricting. For instance, there are some dating rule books that will lay a whole timeline out for you from the moment you meet a person through when to call after the date. If you really like someone, go with the flow. You really don't have to wait the customary number of days after a date to call to set up another date. You could even set up another date during the date you are on.
Other guides will give you things to talk about and other things to avoid on a date. Some things, yes, are slightly taboo. For instance, don't prattle on for over an hour about your exes. No date wants to hear that much. But if the subject comes up, as it sometimes does, it is okay to acknowledge it. Just don't dwell on it. And that advice goes for any unpleasant topic that might come your way. But don't script your date. You'll end up sounding like a small-talk machine rather than the intelligent person you are.
If you do consult dating rules, it is okay. Sometimes we all need a little help in our dating lives. Just watch out for setting too much stock by the rule books. You don't have to let them restrict what you do. Let the rules be a general guideline. If you are stuck as to how to act, they can offer up advice that might be helpful, but don't do anything that you aren't comfortable with doing. Don't become a rule machine.
The unpredictable nature of life and dating can be exciting. Letting the rules dominate your dating life can often take the mystery and fun out of dating itself. And dating is supposed to be fun.