Ladies, we've all heard the snide comments about us women and the stupid things we do when we're dating. And we all have done one or two dumb things when we've dated that have had disastrous results for the relationship. Yet how does a women keep herself from falling into those feminine traps that we have such a tendency to fall into those behaviours, and why do women fall into that trap? As a guide to dating men, exploring these issues will help you keep yourself safe from disaster.
As a first piece of advice in this guide to dating men, it is important that women learn to take control of their own lives. No man wants to date an overly needy woman, or a little girl. This means that you need to show you can handle the world on your own, but having a man just makes it a little nicer. How does that happen? Start taking some steps to be independent. Learn to check your own oil in your car. Balance your own checkbook. It's in the little things.
Yet don't become too independent. This is an important piece of advice in this guide to dating men, and a fine line to walk. Men like to see a woman who can handle herself, but they still need to feel a bit needed. If you can't open the pickle jar, don't use the special tool you got at the store, let him open it. Yes, you could have done it yourself, but it lets him know you need him for things. Let him buy you nice things. That doesn't mean you take advantage of his kindness, but it lets him know you appreciate his attention.
In this day of feminism and women power, a guide to dating men seems outdated, but in the fine line between needing a man and wanting a man you will find yourself a little happier in a relationship. As advanced as we all want to believe we are in accepting that both sexes have their strengths and weaknesses, we have to understand that some drives still guide us through our relationships. Most men need to feel like they are the breadwinner, that they provide for the woman in their life. It is important to acknowledge and understand that desire to create a balance in your relationship.
Now, in this guide to dating men, we also have to provide the next caution. Some women, in their desire to create balance, create a strong imbalance in the relationship. They either become co-dependent or excruciatingly clingy. When this starts to happen, men panic and women become miserable in their desire to make everything perfect. The guide to dating men is to not fall into the trap of jumping in too quickly.
When you meet a man, it is important to let him tell you the pace you want to go. This doesn't mean asking right away. Watch out for the "let's talk about this" or "Where are we going with this?" statements and questions that create havoc in a dating relationship. If he is ready to take another step, he'll take it. Really. And if he's not, then no guide to dating men is going to help you get him to that point. In fact, getting to pushy or trying to get to the bottom of his feelings will probably drive him away. If you feel that he isn't moving as quickly as you, then you need to make a decision to stay or to go. But seek it out in your gut. Usually, your intuition is right.
The other glaring error women make is being too enthusiastic. In this guide to dating men we need to realise that being in a new dating situation is fun and nerve wracking at the same time. However, when you go out on a date, don't call him five times a day afterward to talk. Don't research his address and send him gifts or letters. It can get a little creepy. No, not a little creepy - a lot creepy. No one wants to be perceived as Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction, and women who get this enthusiastic often are perceived as such.
In the guide to dating men, the key to a good relationship is to respect yourself as much as you respect one another. Don't put your self-esteem on a shelf in order to please the other person. Later on, you'll regret the decision. Believe in who you are, and know that there is a man out there who will respect you for it. Don't wrap yourself up in the relationship, but let it develop as you both grow toward one another. And if one of you isn't willing to grow, the best advice a guide to dating men can give you is to let go.